Sometimes we can approach a pile of stuff, pull out the meaningful items, and release the rest. I have worked with clients who had a clarity of decision making that astounded me. Much of the time though, parting with items is not so easy. We get terribly stuck and we give up. This is especially true when we are dealing with items we consider sentimental. Here, the story of the Golden Buddha might guide us.
Several hundred years ago there was a statue of a golden Buddha in Thailand. The country was being attacked, so several monks protected the statue from theft by covering it in twelve inches of clay. The statue stayed safe, but the monks did not, and the secret of the golden Buddha was lost. Two centuries later in the 1950's, the statue needed to be moved. Workmen tried to move it with a crane and the clay cracked, revealing a bright light shining from within. Bit by bit the clay was removed, revealing the beautiful, golden Buddha!
The story makes me think about how we can let go of belongings that are frought with emotion.
Recently I moved my elderly dad from my home into a small assisted living. I bagged his clothes to bring to his new room, and I put his furniture on my sidewalk to give away. I was left with a large pile of his sentimental items in the middle of my bedroom floor; photo albums, framed degrees, trinkets, etc. Over the next two weeks, I would spend one to two hours each evening going through the pile. Everyday I became more discerning and put a few more items in the trash or in the trunk of my car to give away. I also pulled photos from dozens of heavy albums, threw away some and kept the most special ones, consolidated in one box.
If I had tried to sort through the entire pile in one fell swoop, I might have been overwhelmed with guilt and given up. (These were my dad's lifelong treasures, after all.) As much as I have worked my decluttering muscles, I still needed to take this job in a "bit by bit of clay" kind of way, culling the pile a little more each day.
In the end, only the golden, most precious sentimental items remained. A manageable amount of things of which, I feel honored to be the family keeper.