My mom died suddenly and unexpectedly in March. I wrote a story, which I can share sometime, about how special she was. This is the story though, of death and stuff.
I have worked with many people since starting my declutter business six years ago. I see a distinct pattern: folks struggle with how to handle the belongings of a loved one who has passed. They fear they will lose memories of their loved one if they let go of items. Some of the struggle is guilt. They say “my dad liked his collection of (X), he would want me and my sister to have it, I cant just give it away”. So, people hold onto things they don’t want. They feel burdened by the stuff, which takes up a bedroom or sometimes an entire basement. I sense people need permission to let items go. In fact, we don’t need permission, we need only to change our mindset on how we view inanimate objects.
What if we all decided when we wake tomorrow that we will keep only in our possession the things we love or use? I wonder how lives might change if we all unburdened ourselves from “I should keep these things” thinking. I think we would play in forests with our kids more often, and travel to other countries. I think we would spend more time making love and hosting friends for hot meals.
When my mom died, I sold her car. I brought her furniture to our local thrift store. I sold her gold to a local jewelry store and brought her canned food to a food pantry. I put her many pretty dishes on the sidewalk for give away, and gave her wine glasses to the little cafe/bar where I work. I passed her beautiful plants and purple orchids to loved ones and strangers. I dropped her clothes and shoes into big yellow Planet Aid bins and I burned her old paper clutter in my fire pit.
It is hard work dealing with so many items all at once. Sometimes I would think to myself, what a monster you are Brooke, to give all of her things away! I think it is much harder on a person though, to hold onto things which will grow dust in an attic and be neither used nor appreciated. It is much harder on a person to lack the living space they want in their home.
I did keep a few pieces of my moms gold jewelry, some peace lily’s, a white lasagna pan with little orange mushrooms painted on the side, her treasured box of recipes, and the shirt she was wearing before she died, which still smells like her.
Maybe you hold onto things which don’t bring you joy, out of a sense of obligation. I invite you to consider letting those things go. You are allowed to free yourself. You are allowed to hold onto a persons essence, (and none of their belongings) inside your heart.