Apoptosis: a genetically directed process of cell self destruction. A programmed cell death that occurs in multicellular organisms.

I recently had a conversation where I learned about apoptosis. Essentially, we have certain cells in our bodies which perform necessary functions and then die. By dying, these cells allow our bodies and our life to continue. In fact, when cells stick around they are referred to as unwanted cells, some of which might try to grow unabated (this is called cancer). So, we know that our bodies only work if cellular death regularly occurs.

Just as death is an important part of existence in our physical bodies, so too is it necessary for life on earth. We can observe the process of constant death of plants everyday. Right now leaves are falling outside. Decaying matter goes back into the soil and nourishes new growth. Vegetation only comes because of all of the death which preceded it.

I've worked with people who struggled to release items from their possession because the item was once very life giving to them. By the time the person finds me, most of those items are no longer life giving, but the they still feel uncomfortable letting go. If we find ourselves in this scenario we can take a moment to see how the item or book has already given us what we need to get from it. Then we can let it go. The words of the book we once loved live in us, they have already shaped our worldview. The sentimental item that was handed down to us out of love served its purpose when we received it. So, we breathe in that love and release the item.

When I look back at different moments of my past, I see little deaths scattered throughout my life, and times when I had to release something. I have experienced things that did not go as I planned. A hope I once had is forced to die. We can often sense the death coming before it actually comes, and we fight, because we don't want to lose the thing we need. In my own experience, it's only now that I can look back and see how rich my life is, that I know the death of previous parts of my life were necessary for the current life I have. The soil only became fertile because of losses I experienced, and the room which was created for new fruits to blossom because space opened. When I learn to let go of things that are no longer meant for me, I continue to learn how to grieve. Once I grieve, I can turn toward the new life that wants to grow all around me. What a painful process! A painful, stunningly life giving process.